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Paloma Faith has revealed she “still loves” her ex-husband and “can’t let go” following their split after 10 years.
The singer, 42, recently penned an album titled The Glorification of Sadness about her breakup with Leyman Lahcine, with whom she shares two young daughters.
Paloma, who has never confirmed or denied that the pair were actually married, described the breakup as a confusing one because she still feels so strongly about her ex during a candid interview with Jamie Lang.
“The heartbreak will be forever. You can’t really let go of somebody you’ve got kids with,” the British singer said on an episode of Great Company with Jamie Lang.
“Some people never speak [to their exes] again, but they’re still very present because you see that person in your kids.
“In my case, it’s even harder because we really like each other a lot and we still love each other. It makes it really confusing. It’s heartbreaking every time we see each other.”
The relationship breakdown, which was confirmed in 2022, is detailed in the new album, which the singer said explores the various stages of grief.
Paloma said having two children together is what makes this a “different type of heartbreak album”.
She explained: “Because the heartbreak will be forever and the navigation of our relationship changing shape will be forever, probably till we die. You can’t really let go of somebody you’ve got kids with.”
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She continued: “Because you look at your kids and you see that person in your kids. Or they come back from visiting them – your partner or ex-partner – and they’re doing their mannerisms or they’ve got opinions that you don’t agree with.
“It’s even harder, I think in a way, because we really liked each other a lot. We’re really close and we still love each other, and that makes it confusing. That’s really sad. So it’s sort of heartbreaking every time we see each other. It’s just very raw because of the kids.”
The Independent was the first to sit down with Faith following the split. In the interview, she expanded on how having children frayed the pair’s relationship.
“People always ask, what did you do? What did he do? But it was a fundamental breakdown that we were both in control of saving or letting go.”
Faith told this publication that she traces the beginning of the end to December 2016, when she became a mother to the first of their two daughters.
“You either grow together, adapting to one another like expandable foam and filling the gaps where it’s empty – or one person grows and the other stays the same,” she said.
“And I think for me, becoming a mother was such a massively life-changing experience that for the first time in my life, I needed more than nothing – and the expandable foam just wasn’t there.”
She later added: “Our relationship ended because we have those children. And I think that was worth it.”
Despite this, a clearly emotional Faith also told Laing she still feels so strongly towards her ex that there’s even a song on the album that she can’t listen to: “Divorce“.
She said: “There’s one song [on the album] that I can’t listen to called ‘Divorce’. I don’t think I’ll play it live because I just get too upset.
“It’s basically all the stuff that’s made me get emotional now in a song – it’s got my kids’ voices in it. I recorded them playing in the garden.”
Faith, who was briefly married to Rian Haynes in her early 20s, admitted that she’s dealing with this heartbreak differently.
She said: “You have to go through [heartbreak].
“In the past, I always dealt with it by pushing it to one side and filling that void with another person. I would replace. Not straight away, but very quickly. Now I’ve got children it just doesn’t sit right.
“I’ve tried a bit of dating, but it just doesn’t work. I’m trying to learn how to have a relationship with myself. I don’t think I’ve ever had one.”
The singer admitted that resentment was the ultimate cause of the breakup, telling Laing, 35, that she did ‘too much’ in the relationship.
“There was a lot of disparity between what I put into it compared to him,” she said. “But not love, I think we were equal on that – but practically.
“Having children was a huge shift for me. I’ve always been quite maternal, but I didn’t have the capacity to mother anyone apart from the baby or the next baby – [not a partner or even a friend].
“Friends even said to me: ‘You don’t give me attention like you used to.’
“I don’t think there’s enough acknowledgement for the sheer amount of pressure or work women do when they become mothers.”